Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as recognise and influence the emotions of those around you. It is a vital skill for leaders who want to be authentic, high-performing, and impactful. In this article, we will explore how you can develop your emotional intelligence as a leader and improve your leadership effectiveness.
The Four Components of Emotional Intelligence
According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularised the term, emotional intelligence consists of four components: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. These components help leaders to:
- Self-awareness: Be more aware of their strengths, weaknesses, values, and emotions
- Self-management: Manage their impulses, stress, and emotions in positive ways
- Social awareness: Understand and relate to the feelings, needs, and perspectives of others
- Relationship management: Communicate effectively, build trust, and collaborate with others

Each component of emotional intelligence can be developed and improved with practice and feedback. Here are some strategies on how you can develop each component and enhance your emotional intelligence as a leader.
How to Develop Your Self-Awareness: The Foundation of EQ
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to recognise and understand your emotions, as well as their impact on your thoughts, behaviours, and decisions. To develop your self-awareness, you can:
- Keep a journal. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process and reflect on your emotions, as well as identify patterns and triggers. You can also use a journal to track your goals, achievements, and challenges and evaluate your performance and progress.
- Seek feedback. Asking for feedback from others can help you gain a different perspective and insight into your strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots. You can seek feedback from your peers, subordinates, superiors, mentors, coaches, or anyone you trust and respect. Be open-minded, curious, and appreciative of the feedback you receive, and use it to improve yourself.
- Take assessments. Taking assessments can help you measure and understand your personality, preferences, values, and emotional intelligence. There are many assessments available online or through professional services, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), the DiSC Profile, the Values in Action (VIA) Survey, and the Emotional and Social Competence Inventory (ESCI).
How to Develop Your Self-Management: Taking Control of Your Responses
Self-management is the ability to regulate and control your emotions, impulses, and actions, and to adapt to changing situations and demands. To develop your self-management, you can:
- Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgement or distraction. It can help you calm your mind, reduce stress, and increase focus and awareness. You can practice mindfulness by meditating, breathing, or doing any activity that requires your full attention and concentration.
- Use positive self-talk. Positive self-talk is the practice of using affirming and encouraging words for yourself, especially when facing challenges or difficulties. It can help you boost your confidence, motivation, and resilience and overcome negative emotions and thoughts. You can use positive self-talk by repeating phrases such as “I can do this,” “I am capable,” or “I am learning and growing.”.
- Develop healthy habits. Developing healthy habits can help you improve your physical, mental, and emotional well-being and enhance your performance and productivity. You can develop healthy habits by eating well, sleeping enough, exercising regularly, and avoiding or limiting alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine.
How to Develop Your Social Awareness: Stepping into Others’ Shoes
Social awareness is the ability to empathise with and understand the emotions, needs, and perspectives of others and to appreciate the diversity and complexity of human interactions. To develop your social awareness, you can:
- Listen actively. Active listening is the skill of paying attention to what others are saying without interrupting or judging, and showing interest and curiosity. It can help you build rapport, trust, and understand the message and emotions behind the words. You can listen actively by using verbal and non-verbal cues, such as nodding, smiling, asking questions, and paraphrasing.
- Show empathy. Empathy is the skill of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and feeling and sharing their emotions. It can help you connect with and relate to others and show compassion and support. You can show empathy by acknowledging and validating their feelings, expressing concern and care, and offering help if needed.
- Be culturally aware. Cultural awareness is the skill of recognising and respecting the differences and similarities among people from different backgrounds, beliefs, and values. It can help you avoid stereotypes and biases and communicate and collaborate more effectively and harmoniously. You can be culturally aware by learning about other cultures, being open-minded and curious, and adapting your behaviour and style accordingly.
How to Develop Your Relationship Management: Building Strong Connections
Relationship management is the ability to communicate and interact effectively and positively with others and to build and maintain strong and healthy relationships. To develop your relationship management, you can:
- Express yourself clearly. Expressing yourself clearly is the skill of conveying your thoughts, feelings, and opinions in a way that is respectful, assertive, and appropriate. It can help you avoid misunderstandings and conflicts, and it can influence and persuade others. You can express yourself clearly by using simple and direct language, being specific and concise, and using examples and evidence.
- Give and receive feedback. Giving and receiving feedback is the skill of providing and accepting constructive and helpful information that can improve performance and behaviour. It can help you learn, grow, and improve your results and relationships. You can give and receive feedback by being timely, specific, balanced, and respectful, and by focusing on the situation, not the person.
- Resolve conflicts. Resolving conflicts is the skill of managing and resolving disagreements and disputes in a constructive and respectful way. It can help you maintain harmony and cooperation and achieve win-win outcomes. You can resolve conflicts by identifying the root cause, acknowledging different perspectives, finding common ground, and negotiating a solution.
- Celebrate successes. Celebrating successes is the skill of recognising and appreciating the achievements and contributions of yourself and others. It can help you boost morale, motivation, and loyalty and foster a culture of excellence and recognition. You can celebrate successes by giving praise, feedback, rewards, or recognition, and by sharing best practices and lessons learned.
By developing your relationship management skills, you will be able to communicate and interact effectively and positively with others and to build and maintain strong and healthy relationships.
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